"I think I'll just be a pot delivery guy."
Background: One of the cool things about NYC is that potsmokers have the benefit of having a delivery boy. You can pretty much get anything deliverd in New York, but the way in which pot arrives in these parts is nothing short of magnificent. The guys gets a page (Yeah - they still carry pagers. That part hasn't been revolutionized yet), and if he recognizes the number, he calls back to take the order. Once he arrives (about an hour later than expected), he looks around the house to make sure there are no cops and what not, then, with not just a mild sense of paranoia, he pulls out what can only be likened to a catalogue of different varieties, colors and season shades - each type seperated into a handly little plastic box. The box is bought, delivery guy is out. It's that simple.
I'm sure I sound naive in my amazement, but this is a new approach I wish I would've known about back in the day when smoking pot was still, well, cool (and when I say "cool," I don't mean there's something wrong with smoking it, I mean that it's not okay to put it on display the way my roommate does: "Hey everybody! I'm smoking pot. Yep, the ganja! Yayyy weed!"). That's pretty lame, which totally explains why my roommate does it.
But, moving right along, my roommate declared that this is what he's going to do. He's going to see the business from the other side! Going to learn a new trade! Start a new life! Yeah, all that.
In his words, this is why he's qualified (his resume, if you will):
- "I know all about the product (guffaw, guffaw)." [Yeah, most people do. Well, most people the age of 15]
- "I'm a people person and can get along with anybody." [Over here! Hello? Remember me? We don't get along and I I hate you!]
- "It will be good exercise." [Remember, he's a bodybuilder who shaves his chest]
- "I'm a salesperson." [Yes, let's hope the qualities that have made you excel in your present job, carry over to your next venture]
I am so wrong.
So, basically - had I actually been looking for another reason to hate my roommate, he delivered one efficiently. Maybe this would be a good job for him.