The Questions are:
"I'm out with some of my marine friends. You and your friends should come out and meet us for drinks."
"Hi, my friends and I are really desperate and, although the single chick to single dude ratio in Manhattan is an astounding 2:1, we're reserving this prime meat just for you (oh yeah, and for your friends)." Oh, please. Can I?
"Why don't you smile, girl?"
Why must random guys always ask me this when I'm walking down the street? Really, what's their motive? Is it a pick up line? I don't get it. There are a million reasons I'm not smiling okay, asshole? One of which is because there are no clowns and trapezists performing on 28th and Park this afternoon. And if you're really wondering, I just got raped. Thanks for asking.
"It is what it is - you know?"
No, I don't know. What the hell is "It is what it is" supposed to mean? Every time I hear that I can't help but think that somebody's been reading a little bit too much "Tao of Poo." This phrase is, by far, the sorriest excuse for a philosophical solution to a problem for which the speaker simply has no other answer. Furthermore, everyone who utters these annoying 5 words is completely mediocre. My roommate uses it All. Of. The. Time. The worst thing about it is that when said mediocre human being uses it, he or she does so as if having just reached a point of enlightenment. There is no rebuttal that can refute this logic: "I have spoken. It is what it is."
"Did you like the statue of Britney Spears giving birth?"
bufflo (12:22:19 PM): what did you think about that statue?
gigi (12:22:51 PM): what statue?
gigi (12:22:56 PM): oh, britney?
bufflo (12:23:33 PM): yeah
bufflo (12:23:38 PM): doggy style
gigi (12:23:46 PM): she got a C-section, so i thought it was idiotic
gigi (12:24:26 PM): someone just wanted to draw attention to their work, but couldn't do it on their own, so they used britney's fame. How droll.
I hate everybody. Please refrain from speaking to me anymore.