In days of yore (last week, as it turns out), I had a stalker that even a celebrity could envy. He would stalk me on myspace and on this here blog. He'd write about me (and my fictional lesbian scenes, to boot), give me a random phone call here and there, IM me under false names like "tyronedoggie", email me and even leave an occassional nasty comment (well, he's still good for that, at least).
But, now he's gone. I don't know how it happened. I didn't even know it had happened. Until today...
Like a wife accidentally walking in on her adulterous husband, I happened upon this discovery purely by mistake. The flawless evidence was in his links section:
This, in place of, "Currently Stalking: GiGi"
Huh?! What did I do? Or rather, what didn't I do?
I found myself surprisingly upset. I might even use the term "used" here. Yes, "used" seems to fit the bill nicely.
So, I guess all this really means is that I, too, am accepting applications for a new stalker as I've done once before.
Dearest stalker, if you're out there, I'll just have you know that you are but a dispensable employee who I can replace with a mere jog over to Craigslist.
Yet, still I cry...
Just goes to show, you don't miss your water 'til your well runs dry. Or something like that.
On that note, please send your resumes to me Here. The position's requirements are summarized in paragraph 2 of this post. Happy Stalking!