When a stalker stops stalking...

For a good amount of time, I had my very own stalker. Nothing dangerous. If anything, it was flattering. When my stalker found out about my blog he gave me a link on his blog. The link was placed under the heading, "Future Wives."

I recently visited his site to pay homage to my glorious link and, to my surprise, it had relocated to its new home under the heading, "People Who Make Me Want to Vomit."

As it turns out, a girl can become quite attached to her stalker, so I wrote to find out what happened:

I thought I was a future wife? Now, I make you want to vomit? Very interesting. Do tell...

His response:

I removed that category because I am trying to create a more family friendly atmosphere at my site. Besides you come off as too much of a bitch for my tastes.

Well, I guess that's that.

As it turns out, I am now in the market for a new cyber stalker. The job requires you to send me an occasional random email that makes absolutely no sense to the common man, and that you provide me with a link on your blog. It's just that simple.

Applications are being accepted at all participating locations.