Formerly titled: 12 Reasons I'm glad I'm dating My Boyfriend Rather Than The Scumbag You Got Stuck With.
1). You live in New York. He lives in Houston. He refuses to travel to New York.
2). He cheated on you within the first 6 weeks that you were dating and you took him back.
3). He just moved his baby's mama from Philly to Houston so that he could "be close to his kids."
4). You feel the need to check his phone bill online. Constantly.
5). You somehow have identified which girl each of the numbers on that bill belongs to.
6). There are more than a few girls calling.
7). You rationalize out loud that the reason that enter girl's name here called him at 4:45 in the morning on Saturday was "because—oh yeah, I know her—they do business together."
8). According to this online phone bill, you called him minutes before this and he didn't pick up your call. He picked up her call and they talked for a bit. He called her back not too long after. Perhaps to let him in? Hmm...
9). You know the number that dials his phone when someone needs to be let into the gate at his house. You recognize the girl's number who called to be let in at 2:45 a.m. Probably business though...
10). The girl who he cheated on you with called you to let you know that she and your boyfriend are dating again. You dismiss this completely. She's a boldface liar.
11). When you approach him about it and demand an explanation, he says he "doesn't have to explain shit" and demands that you "suck his big black dick." (Note: I'm just the messenger).
12). You found condoms under his sink. (You don't use condoms)