Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Jane Magazine Agrees With Me About Asian Women

This just in: An Asian editor from Jane magazine agrees with me about the whole "Asian women being bitches" phenomenon. Or, as I prefer to call it: Chinese women talk a lot of trash.

And yes, I realize that all Chinese women are Asian, but that not all Asians are Chinese.

Now that that's settled, here's how this whole discovery came to pass:

Claudine, an editor from Jane, wrote a quick blog entry (in a contrived style, which I might add, screams 'I want street cred, but I sold out such a long time ago*') on Jane's snazzy new website, called: Why some Asian girls might seem like cold, stuck-up bitches.

Truly, it was as if she was offering me an explanation for my relentless accusation about the group in question (And, I'm honored to have made such a cultural impact in society. Yes, yes - the winds of change...). However, if you read it you will see that Claudine cites 'Americans' stereotypes' as the reason why Asian women come off as such cold-hearted bitches (and, in effect, talk a lot of unnecessary trash).


It's a short post, but the gist of it is that she was in a co-ed bathroom at some bar, dressed poorly and looking shabby, when a guy came up to her and said he liked her style. Upon instantaneously realizing that she looked like shit, the White Devil topped off what he meant as a compliment by noting that he had spent some time in China.

She leaves it off there, letting the readers draw their own conclusions. I assume the conclusion she'd like them to adopt is something along the lines of: "Like, hello, no wonder we're bitches. I mean, just because I'm Asian doesn't mean I'm Chinese. And above that, I was born here! Second, buddy, I bet you get cold stares, like the one this here Asian bitch is giving you right now, all of the time due to your pseudo-cultural conclusions based upon shortlived travel experiences. Lastly, if you're trying to hit on me, at least buy me a drink. Asshole."

And for some reason, this makes me like her even more. Not to mention, Jane is one of my faves.

But, in other breaking news, I've discovered that it's not just Chinese women anymore. Even Chinese Fortune Cookies talk a lot of trash. Take a gander and commence amazement:


What the hell kind of half-assed fortunes are these? By golly, when I was a kid these things used to promise you riches, happiness and long life. Now they're offering you bad news and made-up acronyms? I don't get it...

I'm telling you, I am the Cassandra in the midst of this dangerous and burgeoning trend. Is anybody there? Does anybody hear me? Chinese trash talkin' is but a small symptom of what is most likely a population-destroying epidemic. Don't say I didn't warn you.

* Not that there's anything wrong with selling out. Hell, I did it years ago.

>>The entry that started it all was posted on March 13, 2006 and can be found here.

11 comments:

bufflo said...

I don't know what the rant was about, but you must be getting some bad chinese food! Or at least bad fortune cookies. It's sad when you crack em open just to find shit statements like, "Today is a bright day." Yeah, sure.

Ben said...

Checked out Jane. I don't know, it got me thinking back to my theories on the necessity of stereotypes...

The guy was obviously just trying to get a number out of her. He threw something out there that he hoped they could talk about and it backfired.

As I posted on Jane, if you didn't have stereotypes, you'd ask a member of the Hells Angels who won at Wimbledon. Sure, you come off as ignorant every now and then, but in this case, a stereotype would save you an ass-kicking in the worst degree.

bufflo said...

Yes, the line between good judgement and prejudice is pretty thin.

bufflo said...

But the guy in the story comes off sounding ignorant. What dumb fuck would try and get a girl's number by saying that? Would you say "I like your style, I went to South Africa last year" to a black woman in a bar in NYC.

Ben said...

Good point--I never said the guy had any skills with the ladies. If anything, we should all feel bad for the schmuck.

Maybe next time he should spout off random one-liners found inside chinese fortune cookies...

team gingerbread said...

Well said, I surfed here from the Jane forum.

A Concerned Fan said...

My favorite fortune: Boys will be boys and so will some middle-aged men.

appropriate for the Chosen

Paulina said...

Yes isn't that pathetic that misguided caucasian men still have a fetish with these chicks?

Hi Gigi, missed you - sorry I haven't been most communicative. x

badmammajamma said...

I shit you not, one time I got a fortune cookie with a fortune that said "Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies.". I was so pissed off about that shit. I was like, look I want some shit telling me that I'm gonna with the GD lottery tomorrow, not some fucking commercial on a tiny piece of paper. Cheap bastards.

P.S. I used the word "shit" lots of times in this comment.

Ben said...

Concerned fan, so will some OLD men.

Paulina, it's not so much that misguided caucasian men have a fettish with these chicks, its that men in general have fettishes with chicks, in general. Oh, and that all men, caucasian or otherwise, are generally misguided. But we do loves us some womens!

bufflo said...

Well, one can most definitely have an Asian fetish, it does exist. I'd say it goes beyond just liking women in general.