My Cousin, The Madam...

Here's a mass email [Read: cattle round-up] that I just received from my cousin.

I'm pretty sure that she's this guy's agent on the side. I swear, Mr. Policeman, I had no idea she was running this business out of our apartment:

Ladies,

My friend John is in town from Scottsdale, AZ…an attractive male friend by the way….staying at the Hudson Hotel on a business trip. I’m meeting him for a couple of drinks at the Hudson Bar tonight at 7:00pm , it’s supposed to be a pretty cool bar if anyone wants to join.

So you’re probably thinking….”S---, if he’s so great, why don’t you date him?” Well…he dated my best friend for 2 years so he’s off limits for me….but for some of you….fair game. He’s in NYC periodically on business for sales calls. Here are the specs:

5’10-11”ish

Italian- dark hair and light brown eyes, good-looking

Funny!!!

Intelligent

Sales Manager for the RETRACTED

Owns a condo in Scottsdale

Slightly emotionally scarred from past relationships…but who isn’t???

I feel like such a PIMP…and he would actually kill me if he knew that I was writing this. Let me know if you can make it.

-S....

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Here are some of the preliminary responses (I don't understand the second one either):

Friend #1: This says ERIN all over!

Friend #2: So say all 12 of us can come that were invited, would he feel a little awkward? I might have to bring the email to make sure he can find us...

Cousin: Oh no….he will love the captive audience!!!