...mainly because they're boring, but this morning my cousin insisted I listen and I could tell it would be brief:
Cousin: "I dreamed that I was in a bathroom and there was a couple on either side of me having sex. It was weird though because I could see both of them clearly... It's probably because yesterday I was talking about that transvestite that I saw in the women's bathroom last week."
Me: "You should ask grandma about it - she's good at interpreting dreams." Our grandma really is good at this. It's impressive.
Cousin: "Funny you mentioned grandma, one of the couples having sex in the dream was this old couple with no teeth. The woman was riding her husband like there was no tomorrow."
Me: "Well, in that case, I'm just glad I was able to provide such an efficient segway..."