Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Minor Fashion Heart Attack

And trust me, I don't have fashion heart attacks...

In a stroke of complete irony, I was sitting on the train today thinking that I really need to buy some new clothes for work. Despite my co-workers' claims that I dress trendy, I tend to dress like an utter slob.

For instance, today I waltzed into the office in a pair of pants that have a ripped crotch and an off-colored patch by the right ankle. Otherwise they look great: slimming, flattering, bla, bla, bla... In order to counteract the ripped crotch, I had to wear a long shirt. I opted for the 5-year old black (correction: was black - is now gray) tank top and paired the whole thing with some raised sandals that I bought in Brazil in 2001 (even worse - they look like they were purchased in Brazil in 2001). Yes, I need some new clothes. I'll do it this weekend, I decided.
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Crap 'Before' Pics

Here's the ironic part: Minutes after I walked in, I received an IM from the office manager asking what time my boss and I are leaving for our meeting?! I am so fired.

Thankfully, my boss hadn't seen me yet. And even more comforting is that she doesn't get too dressed up herself. So, in an act of complete desperation, I went around to each girl in my office and begged for random pants and shoes that - oh, I don't know - they might have laying around in their offices? Fortunately, I scavenged a pair of businessy witch shoes and some too-big, but not too too-big business slacks. I'm still wearing the tank top, but I accidentally left a shirt in the office yesterday, so I slipped that over. Now, I just have to pretend like I meant to wear this 'Payless meets Filene's Basement' collage and I'll be fine.

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Crap 'After' Picture
(This truly is a bad picture on top of everything - Which makes it all the more fitting)

Oh, and in extreme irony, my boss just walked out and looks stunning. And, why wouldn't she? This is a damn important meeting.


bufflo said...

Wow! Yeah, those pants look like crap, the new ones. But I guess they're better than a ripped crotch, since it wasn't that kind of meeting.

Ben said...

The good news:

By looking shabby, you'll make your boss look even better than her attire already dictates by comparison. Sorta like the semi-hot girls that bring their fat and horrible looking friend(s) along on girls night out.