Friday, June 09, 2006

Bathroom Bonanza!

Our office is one of two offices on our floor. The offices are bound by a communal bathroom out in the hallway. You learn funny things about the employees of other companies when you share a bathroom with 'em. Like, for instance, today I learned that the girls in the other office don't shit. That's right - they're here from the 1950s to let the modern lady know that this is not dignified behavior and it will, under no circumstances, be tolerated!

This is how we found out:
One of the girls in my office was sittin' pretty in a stall whilst two girls from the poopless office were talking about how annoying the girls in our office are:

- "The bathroom always smells [because we don't shit and they do]."
- "They never close the door behind them."
- "They're always in here!"

Then they walked out without washing their hands or noticing the spy we had planted in the stall.

Similar bathroom drama is goin' down in the boys' bathroom over at 37th and 7th where the following sign was posted by one guy to his haphazard co-workers:

Toilet bowl poetry!

Wait, wait, wait... Either this boy is sitting down to pee or he wants to dedicate one seat to number 1 and the other to number 2. An innovative thought indeed. Perhaps we should employ such a rule in our bathroom as well. It would basically mean one stall for us (the number 2'ers) and one stall for them (The dainty number 1'ers). So if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the former...


A Concerned Fan said...

The most awkward situation is the urinal chat. One time the CEO of my company struck up a conversation when I was washing and he was whizzing. I looked down and away and made abbreviated conversation. He happily chit-chatted the whole time. The oddest part? He made a strange sound when he peed. Sounded like wind going through a mouth with no teeth. Was really wierd. Maybe he had a hole in his Johnson. We'll never know as I fled.

bufflo said...

Hah! Pussy.

Ben said...

I'll admit, I'm a strange creature of habit. I do shit at work, and when I do, I prefer to use the same toilet every time. I don't know why. Also, I prefer no one else be there when i do. If I'm finished and someone walks in, I'll pretend to go for a few more minutes and wait for them to leave (unless they sit in the stall next to me, then I leave). Also, I never start going while someone is in there.

Yes, I know, I'm likely a freak of nature, or overly courteous.

My bathroom poetry feels so inferior now...this is the best i came up with:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be neat and wipe up the seat!"