My Sweet Tooth: May Her Soul R.I.P.

Die, Sweet Tooth. Die!

My sweet tooth is officially dead. She had been holding onto dear life for years while me and the others (canines, molars, wisdom teeth that were never pulled) sat around, waiting for the day when she would take her last breath. It really has been a long time coming.

My sweet tooth and I used to be inseparable. With every piece of chocolate, carrot cake or gummy bear, our bond was reconfirmed. I needed her and she needed me (Hell, I'm the one with the money to support her mounting habit).

I could tell that things were going awry when I spoke to a therapist who told me we were becoming co-dependent upon one another. My blood sugar was rising at irregular intervals and her neediness was becoming intolerable. I knew I had to part with her, but I thought I would be too lonely. That is, until I met Salt. Ever since I met Salt my dependence on sugar dwindled. Salt was so much more satisfying and provided me with a healthier lifestyle. I knew that we had a connection when I looked in the mirror and noticed I was losing weight. Love will do that to ya sometimes, you know?

Sweet tooth was not happy when she found out about Salt. She went on the trauma diet and started losing weight drastically, but not in a good way. She refused to eat salt (and that's all I'd been feeding her lately). That's when she began to fade. I didn't mean to cut her out cold turkey, but I had to do what was best for me. My other teeth, and not to mention, my dentist and my therapist, agreed that this was the right thing to do. I couldn't worry about her anymore. The co-dependence is what had gotten me in trouble in the first place. For the first time in my life, I was happy. Sweet tooth couldn't handle it.

All of this has led up to today, the day that I bid Sweet Tooth farewell. Sweet Tooth played a big part in my life, one that I will not forget. But, again, one that I'm not sad to see go...

(All of this is to say that I miraculously no longer crave sugar and I'm really psyched about the situation)