Tuesday, August 22, 2006

My Very Own Scaffold! (And other things that will make you a better person having known)

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1).
My company's building now has its very own scaffolding. Guess what that means? Our very own construction workers! Yup, now everyday when I reach the office and thus, seemingly have hit home free after being harassed by workers at a mere four other sites and by a few random scumbags sweeping the sidewalk, the fun will have only just begun!


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2). It's The Skeeze's birthday today. I've decided that, since he's turning 28 today, he has graduated to "The Geeze." Get it? Rhymes with Skeeze? Implies elderliness? Well, I laughed.

Here are three "The Geeze" fun facts for this glorious day:

-The Geeze didn't start drinking until he was in his twenties (when he met me and was thus corrupted).

-The Geeze's favorite drink was initially Bailey's on the rocks. From Bailey's on the rocks he moved straight to Jack on the rocks. No in-between. Bailey's is clearly a "gateway liquore."

-This morning, the Geeze woke up, flipped on the news and the date, August 22nd, was engulfing the screen. This was followed by the words, "Why do some people think today is Doomsday?" Neither of us has yet heard the reason. Have you? Please enlighten me.


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3). Yesterday, the horizontally disadvantaged girl in my office asked me what I was going to do after work. I told her I was going to workout and then make dinner. "Workout? Don't you already have a boyfriend?" And thus the mystery of the rising divorce rate was solved.

12 comments:

Slinky Redfoot said...

Did the Geeze do that excellent 'hell' graphic?

T. said...

#3 is so typical.

copyranter said...

re: doomsday. islamic calendar says today is best day to destroy Israel and possibly whole world.

T. said...

Wow, and it's also my mom's birthday. I think I'll hold off on mentioning that her day falls on the best day to exterminate Jews and the rest of the world.

Gigi said...

Damn, hopefully no one will ever jot my birthday down on the Islamic calendar..

P.S. Gawker did a little quip on this as well earlier today. You can always count on those guys to get to the bottom of the breaking issues!

P.S.S. The Geeze didn't do the graphic. I put "Divorce" into Google images and found it there.

P.S.S.S. #3 is so typical, yet, somehow I was still surprised to hear it flow so easily out of her mouth...

Paulina said...

You should have responded to #3 by, "No wonder you can't keep yours. Oops, you do have a boyfriend, don't you? Or what was that greasy quarter-pounder-with-cheese I saw the other day?"

bufflo said...

#3. Was that a pussy workout? Hmm I guess it would have been the other way around then, with dinner first, then a workout...

team gingerbread said...

At least #1 will provide you with blog-worthy material...

Gigi said...

That's true, gingerbread. My life isn't providing me with much material right now, for reals...

Boredom.

Stephanie Green said...

Gigi, fake jew (chosen not posin) sent me your link and thought we'd get along. Re. #3, don't you find it funny how once people hook up they just decide it's ok to let go? My BFF and her husband have both gained 30 lbs in one year of marriage. My theory? The most exciting people married people do is dine out.

Gigi said...

Welcome Stephanie!

Yes, I totally agree with you. I'm going to work on a "How to Please Your Man While Maintaining Your Own Identity" guide, which points out you can be both a strong-willed woman with your own agenda, and a totally submissive sex slave at the same time. It's going to be an instant best seller, for sure.

Making him happy makes me happy. Getting fat isn't on my agenda. Married or not...

bufflo said...

You could always get more phat in the ass! That's hott! (Notice the two t's -- that's hott!)