Thursday, April 13, 2006

I am so utterly disturbed...

...that my dad sent me this email:

I am trying to sell a bed frame I recently purchased. I ordered it over the Internet - it was a bit of an impulse buy. Now that it's arrived, I realize that it doesn't go with any of my other oak furniture. I can't send it back. The bed frame is 100% hand carved and imported from India. The mattress is orthopedic, brand new, and hasn't been slept on. I thought I would give you all first dibs, but if you know of anyone else who might be interested please forward this, as I'd like to sell it ASAP. I haven't named a price yet, but if you're interested let me know and we'll work something out. Anyway, have a look.


I don't know that my being disturbed is a direct effect of the fact that it was my DAD who sent me a picture of penis-engraved bedposts, or if it was because my Mormon grandfather was CC'd on the mass email. It could also be a result of the fact that this 'forward' followed directly behind a first, which was titled, "My colonoscopy." Oy vay. My family is indeed a sick one.

9 comments:

Chad said...

No way I could fit my mouth over that... er, or... uh... I'd never be able to sleep surrounded by such towering oak intimidation... magnificence.

A testimant to male presence. I'm going buy one now!

Britney said...

Truly mouth watering comes to mind!

badmammajamma said...

Whoa. Seriously? For some reason, I suddenly feel flushed and sweaty.

bufflo said...

After getting over the creep factor, I think a lot girls would get sexually aroused by this bed.

No matter what they say, girls dig big things. Cocks, bank accounts, alimonies...

badmammajamma said...

bufflo, don't forget SUVs and diamonds. Oh yeah, and man tits.

Gigi said...

Yes, man tits are on the top of any classy lady's list. I know they're on mine...

Paulina said...

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the poles vibrate as well?

And is the person, who I presume is a man, selling the bed because of the inferiority complex he suffers against such err, giant stalks?

Have to say though, I totally agree with Buffalo. The bigger the better baby.

Chad said...

I just fell in love with Paulina.

bluetoiletduck said...

um, i obviously dont know you or you family,... and, as to why im commenting on someones blog instead of (hey thats a Waterdog song!!)writing some shit on my own, fuck if ill ever know...but, did your dad REALIZE the connotations and double meaning BEHIND the bed when he bought it? maybe hes just not as perverted as everyone that seems to read your blog?

or maybe, just maybe, im the fool who is trying to make sence of a joke your father has pulled on you...

hm...things to ponder this wonderful easter night....