Monday, April 03, 2006

New Age Tips for Stopping a Stalker

Someone just found my site by typing the following words into google:

"How + to + stop + a + stalker"

It's a scary thought to think that someone is looking for advice on how to get their stalker to stop stalking (thusly meaning he/she is being stalked).

But, it's even scarier to think that the advice this person will find on my blog is to befriend the damn guy; to write him emails when he ceases stalking—telling him you miss his constant, un-requested presence. Accordingly, it is also very wise to post your stalker's correspondence regularly as to further perpetuate his mal-intentions.

Good luck!


Chad said...

Yes, I become concerned when my stalker hasn't texted me in over a week.

You have to check in on them and make sure you're still interesting enough to be stalked.

God forbid a desperate lowling that can't figure out how relationships are supposed to work, loses interest in you. It would be depresing.

Morris said...

I wish I had a stalker of my own!

It would have to be female, I already have a gay stalker.

A Concerned Fan said...

It could be worse. Someone typed "Sam Waterston nude" and found my site. That's just WRONG.

bufflo said...

Tip #1: Don't post pictures of the back of your head. It'll make you look mysterious and inaccessible, both big stalker turn-ons.

Tip #2: Don't listen to GiGi's advice. Regarding anything.