Friday, April 14, 2006

One would think...

...that if someone had the nerve to patronize another about her (uh-hem) hair being all over the bathroom floor, that said person would have the decency to clean up his chest hair from the bathtub.

One would think that, right?

Well, this morning I got into the shower, only to greet millions of tiny fuzzlings that previously lived on my roommate's chest. Each individual hair is admittedly a very small entity, but when those little buggers team up, they somehow form a huge globule capable of clogging the drain. Thusly, I was forced (As my dad would say: "You weren't forced. Did someone have a gun to your head?" Whatever, Pa) to stand in 3 inches of freshly-shaved chest hair infested water. When I lifted my feet to get out of the tub, they stuck to my feet making it look like my dogs couldn't keep up with their 5 o'clock shadow.

I mean, I understand that the guy needs to shave his chest... He is a bodybuilder, after all. Wink. Wink.

Jokes aside, this is war, my friends! War, I say!


Paulina said...

How can ANYONE shave his chest? Hmm am I the only one with an undying fetish for carpet-chested men? (I like it grey and curly, like that on my man's)

Collect your flatmate's and scatter them across the next murder scene you stumble across. Or, next time, don't wait for him to shave. Drug him and wax it instead. In fact, do the legs as well. Pretend you are giving him a brazilian-shave and accidentally slip the razor. Then run.

Happy Easter. Peace be with you.

Gigi said...

Looks like it's just you and I today, Paulina. Everybody else is gone for Holy, High Friday or whatever it's called.

I think I'm the only schlep in Manhattan sitting at my desk.

Did you read Chad's comment on the bed post below? He's confessed his love for you in case your current boyfriend doesn't work out!

Have a good weekend. I think it's a holiday or something

bufflo said...

I promised myself I'd stay away today. If only for one full day. But after a handful of cocktails (I'm currently drinking to ease the pain of Christ) my fingers automatically typed the address.

As for getting back on your roommate, I know of a few things, but you'd have to be able to move right after you execute them.

Gigi said...

Bufflo: That is the best comment ever! Oh, how I laugh.

I think that you and everyone else who usually reads my blog decided to avoid me today :(

My numbers are puney today.

Still in the office, although not my office. I got off a bit early and came up to Times Square where Cesar works. I'm now waiting for him to get the go ahead so we can venture to Madison Square Garden (We were give $300/piece courtside tix!) Yes, evidently Cesar is the other person in Manhattan who was rumored to be working today. Throw a drink on Christ's tab for me, dear friend... Cheers!

bluetoiletduck said...

ah, it seems as if we have a bunch of "Office Space" fuckers here...while i myself am a "Clerks" bastard...and, i forgot what i was gonna say...oh yes, a helpful hint for your roommate...if he ran his shaving on a rotating weekly schedule, you wouldnt HAVE those hairs in the bathtub clogging the drain...

MOnday: Chest Hair
Tuesday: shoulders
weds: arms/face
Thursday : head
friday: armpits
saturday: genital area

not that this is MY schedule, but, alas, if it was, notice if you do your hair on a regular basis, the hair is short enough that it fits in the drain holes, and, WONT get stuck where the next person using the shower would get in on THERE body.

my suggestion, dont know about your "area" but, let it grow, and if he uses bar soap, start leaving pubes on his bar soap or in the cap of his body wash....thatll show him...