Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Hi from DC

I feel so loved. I've received quite a few emails from people asking where I am - Am I okay? You are too kind!

I'm great. In DC for work right now and I've had no access to computers (well, at least ones on which to do what I consider "real work," where "real work" is defined as writing my blog and checking Gawker to the point of insanity). There's one computer in the hotel lobby and 10 seconds - really - after I sat down to write and order a new bikini, some long-haired blonde guy came in and queried, "Do you know how long you're going to be?"

I barked at him, not only because I was pissed, but because he was clearly a doormat who wanted to be walked upon. I mean, couldn't he see that I was picking out which Brazilian bikini I wanted to flaunt around in like a whale next weekend when I go to Miami??

"No, I don't know. I just sat down."
"Well, I just, umm, just need to check the movie schedule."
"Come back in 10 then."

I think I scared him off, because he didn't come back. Unfortunately, I was so disturbed by his neediness and doormatness that I couldn't sit and think properly. Really though - producing these profound thoughts necessitates an untainted think tank of sorts. My experience was ruined.

Anyhow, I'll be back to NYC this afternoon and I plan to have something up by 4 or 5 p.m. I'll tell you about DC and how the restaurants suck and Maryland Crab soup is not good and how I despise people smoking while I eat and about the retro Ethiopian Whorehouse decor in my hotel room and, and, and...

Oh yeah, I won't be describing my day at the Immigration Protest because, quite frankly, I'm way too lazy to get up and witness history in the making.

Okay. Bye.


bufflo said...

You can still smoke inside restaurants in DC? That's awesome! It reminds me of a short layover at Charles de Gaulle last year. Coming from NYC, I went outside to find a spot where smoking was allowed. But besides from people coming and going, the curb was pretty empty. Then I remembered where I was, and that you can actually smoke inside the airport. It felt so exotic.

BlueToiletDuck said...

2 things...

1. Being the great grandson of 4 LEGAL US Immigrants who came through Ellis Island, how hard is it to come to america LEGALLY?

2. Why didnt that schumck do what every OTHER intellegent human would do? use his Cell Phone and get movie times on THAT? You were too nice...i wouldve told that dick in terms he could understand, u know, speaking to him like a kindergardener and, drew pictures and described it all patronizingly...and if he didnt have a cell phone? easy, he couldve been informed that this is the 21st century, and, well, he might want to join us all here....