Saturday, April 08, 2006

Books & Magazines My Roommate Keeps in the Bathroom

Otherwise known as: Books my roommate thinks are the perfect read while taking a shit.

-The Meteropolitan Opera 2006-2007 Season Guide - you know, because he loves the opera. Not to mention, the opera schedule is a titillating readas is the back of a shampoo bottle or tampon box.

-The Sommelier's Guide to Wine (which heyes, HEused to have standing upright on the counter ledge for decoration). This screams class and sophistication as do the empty bottles of Sky Vodka that also serve as decor in our fine abode. And these bottles are not "blue," they're "lapis lazuli." He keeps one good bottle of wine (Nero D'Avola, 2004) in the house at all times for looks, but when it comes to actually drinking wine, he gets the extra large bottles with the screw-off tops. I'm so not kidding.

-Ernest Hemingway: The Short Stories. I guarantee this was a gift. It's a paperback and the spine bears no crease. The end.

-Trump World magazine, which is, by far, the worst magazine ever, but my roommate is in real estate and so is Trump, so, well, I guess it all makes sense (it doesn't make sense).

Magazine I keep in the Bathroom:

Us Weekly

I keep it real, yo.


bufflo said...

I think it's kind of disgusting to have books in the bathroom. Sure, it's not like you use the pages to wipe your ass, but there's got to be some kind of transfer of non-Kosher bacteria going on between the lines. I guess it's okay as long as the books stay in there, and never ever make to back to your bookshelf, night table, or the collection of Norman Rockwell and light erotica books strategically placed on your coffee table.

Oh, and it's "Us Weekly". And I'm an asshole for pointing that out.

Morris said...

I read Ebony in the bathroom

The_Chef said...

Well, if you're worried about the poop remnants, don't brush your teeth with the toothbrush you keep in there. Ever watch Myth Busters? They did an episode proving that the worst thing in the bathroom after flushing ends up being the toothbrush. Even putting the top down of the toilet doesn't protect you from the bacteria.


Just... Ew.

And now... Now I go replace everything in the bathroom because I just grossed myself out.

bufflo said...

I'm not a germophobe, reading the bathroom just feels wrong to me, unless it's telephone numbers and other useful information ("Jamie is a slut!", "I know!", "I agree!").

But, incidentally, I do keep my toothbrush in the bedroom, ever since I got an electric.

Hey gigi, where are you today? You know we love you, right?

A Concerned Fan said...

Sorry, but anytime a chick (even one who takes pictures of the back of her head because she thinks its sexy) uses the phrase "taking a shit", it just TOTALLY "de-sexifies" her. Sorry, Gi to the Gi. That's just wrong.