Monday, April 17, 2006

Easter Greetings, Anecdotes and Post-Festivity Predictions

If I didn't work in corporate America, where everyone but me was off for Good Friday last week, I probably wouldn't have noticed that it was a holiday. Same goes for Cesar. We're not religious people. Him—he hates religion and I—well, I have an overwhelming respect for the stuff, but can't stand the institution and I hate people (especially the self-righteous breed) so there you have it.

This in mind, Cesar didn't think twice before putting on a shirt with the following logo,* before spending Easter Sunday walking around Manhattan:

It didn't take too long until we figured out why people were pointing and staring. Oops.

In other Easter news, Cesar's girlfriend is—ironically—quite religious. Umm, like super religious. So, when he told me that she wrote him an email, wherein she randomly inserted some Christian propaganda like nothing had happened, I had to see it to believe it. This morning he forwarded it over to me, followed by his ensuing response:

"How was your night Did you have fun? Did you enjoy the place? Would you go back there? Happy Easter YEAH JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD... I love you. I had the strangest dream last night..."

His response:

"Jesus had a twin no one knew about. His twin came back."

While Cesar's reply is so utterly wrong on so many levels, it is just the type of creative humor we need a little more of! "Jesus had a twin" - I love it.

Lastly, I have a prediction. My roommate—disgusting, rude, unpleasant—took his girlfriend back to the midwest this weekend to meet his family. While I'm sure they had a great weekend, wherein he confessed his undying love for her and gained instant approval from his mom, I imagine the experience will be nothing less than bastardized when his friend (we'll call him Ari since that is, in fact, his name) comes in for the weekend. I've mentioned it before, but my roommate—disgusting, rude, unpleasant—likes to act out his machismo by talking shit behind his girlfriend's back and explaining to Ari that he can still get laid by 19 year olds, etc... Needless to say, Ari is thoroughly impressed.

My prediction is that when Ari asks about the weekend, about what his mom thought of the girlfriend, etc... My roommate—disgusting, rude, unpleasant—will make some demeaning comment to the extent of:

"My mom loved her. I told the bitch that she should marry her then. It's almost summer. There's tons of bitches where she came from." Or, something equally as piggish.

This conversation will probably take place about Friday, so there will be a reasonable lagtime before I can update you on the results of my prediction. Trust me though, I'm about as psychic as it goes in this situation.

*About the shirt. Last night when my roommate—disgusting, rude, unpleasant—and his girlfriend came home from vacation (because really, why would she spend the night at her own apartment?), Cesar started telling them about how he wore the shirt out on Easter, not having thought about what day it is. The girlfriend, obviously feeling a bit religious after having spent the weekend with that kind of a family, said this:

"Oh, you know what you were doing. You did it on purpose. You know, some people would be very offended."

"Okay, I did. I did it on purpose. You got me," he should've said, but didn't.

Literally, Cesar wears the shirt every other day, but yesterday just happened to be a conspiracy. Oh please—just shut it. Everybody is offended by something. In fact, I'm offended by the above comment. After all, she interrupted his story to insert it and interrupting someone mid-speech, my dear friends, is very rude and very offensive. Very rude and offensive indeed. I just don't appreciate it.

The End.


Paulina said...

Hello, devout Catholic here, Allelujah. May I share my little story at Vigil Mass Saturday night? Before it started, I was giving out candles at the entrance. This European guy was visiting our little town of the famous Minster and taking pictures from the top of our church. He kept coming back and fro and attempted some conversation and flirtation (at a church, mind you). At the end, boldly he said, "When you look at me, you... never mind" upon my horrified bemusement.

He went away and talked to our wonderful priest. At the Homily, Father mentioned this young man especially because it turned out that he was so moved by [some divine forces - the beauty of the church whatever], that he went and said confession.

I couldn't help but think that i helped trigger it. Must be my overwhelming fugliness.

Gigi said...

No need to apologize, Paulina. Catholics are welcome to my site too!

bufflo said...

Glad y'all got closer to God this weekend. I'm an agnostic, so any and every day is just another opportunity for me to get drunk. I did however have a rocking easter this year, inspiring if you will. Check it out...