Not wanting my bestfriend's bachelorette party to be one of those cheesy penis-straw, condom-wearing affairs that I balk at on a regular basis, I thought to do something a bit sexier; a bit classier. I've never thought that a group of 8 girls needed much of a gimmick to get attention from the boys (hell, we are the gimmick), so I told Lauren to wear all white and everyone else to wear all black. I plan to top off Lauren's outfit with some sequined devil horns and a red veil, maybe write something naughty across her chest in red. My mental image is a bit like the picture above (only I can draw better in my imagination). For some reason a big sunflower will be hovering above us wherever we go.
I called Lauren last night to make sure that everything was in order. I asked her what she was wearing and she said black pants and a white shirt. My jaw locked, teeth grinded. Couldn't she just, for my sakes, wear white pants with the white shirt? Why is she going to wear black pants? I said ALL WHITE! I'm very neurotic when it comes to planning. Of course, nothing a little lamaze breathing couldn't handle. Hee-Hee-Who! Hee-Hee-Who! I reached a state of calm, rationalizing that it was fine if she wore the black pants as long as everyone else would be wearing all black. "Is everyone else wearing black?" I inquired. "Well Jen's wearing a purple top," Lauren answered.
Purple? Is that even still a color? Wasn't than banned back in '92? And if not, why not? Oh, by the way, who's Jen? Lauren told me that some of the people coming aren't on the email list I've been using to plan this thing. I've come to terms with the whole situation, deciding that our group tonight will look more like the group pictured here: