Since my birthday is a mere three months away and since D is a self-described "non-birthday person," my work here must start early. And by 'early', I mean that I started my campaign last night.
Me: Wasn't that sweet when, for your birthday, I sent you a cake?
D: You mean, you sent me a box of cake mix, some icing, a cake pan and candles?
(Yes, yes - I sent him a "do-it-yourself" cake. I thought it was cute)
Me: Same difference.
D: Well, maybe I'll just send you some not-put-together jewelery then?
Mind commences ticking. Mental imagery comes into fruition:
Me: You wouldn't dare - I double doggie dare you to pull such a lowly, slovenly, vindictive stunt....