Monday, July 31, 2006

If I Were a Serial Killer...

I would be known as the Construction Worker Massacre. Hypothetically, post mortem investigations and on-site interviews would reveal a trend in men hollering at a lady at 8 a.m. and subsequently getting shot in the groin, then neck, then eyes. A few special incidences, which investigators would later conclude were related to this string of deaths, will be characterized by shots directly to the mouth (the orifice which is ultimately responsible for the Construction Worker Massacre's anguish).

If ever I were brought in for questioning as a result of this post, my alibi would be: "I wouldn't write about killing someone and then go out and do it exactly as I described it on my blog."

Hell, it worked for Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct.

Unfortunately, these are the pleasant thoughts I entertain every morning as I walk into my office. But if you read this blog regularly, you already knew that.

1 comment:

Slinky Redfoot said...

never trust a blogger who turns their back to you