Monday, July 24, 2006

I'm Alive

Just hopped off the redeye from a trip to San Diego with D and "alive" might be too presumptious a word for my current state. I'm a tired mess. "Dead" might be the appropriate term here. Thank God cabs have fixed fares from the airports into Manhattan. Usually I'm afraid to fall asleep in a cab because I know the driver's going to drive to Long Island and back in effort to jack up the fare before I wake up. Today I got an extra hour of sleep on my luxurious ride home. I say luxurious because the driver was actually pleasant, polite and he opened the door and took out my luggage for me. Usually they just pop their trunks and bitch about traffic. Having gotten so lucky as to have a pleasant driver this morning, I went so far as to hypothesize the possibility of having a pleasant day. I sware, someone gives me an inch, I take a mile...

Anyway, I have a great story about the people I sat next to on the plane. That will have to wait though. I plan to post it later in the day. For now, I will leave you with my grandparents' latest theories.

On Saturday I got really sick within a matter of seconds. I simply sat down at lunch, took a sip of water and suddenly felt like I was going to faint. My throat swelled and I was on the verge of tears within another minute. I went to visit my grandparents later in the evening, feeling horrible. I explained to them what happened and these were their conclusions:

Grandpa: Maybe you're allergic to D or D's hair. I used to be allergic to your grandmother's red hair.

Here I laughed, because, you know, I thought he must have been joking. Guess not. Evidently she actually cut her hair at one point because they decided he was allergic to it.

Onto theory number 2. Last night I called back and they asked how I was feeling (each was on the phone as often happens on these calls). I told them I was doing better and my grandma announced her latest theory.

Grandma: I think you're allergic to Jewish food.

Ah, Christian brainwashing. How I haven't missed it. This is to say, I'm pretty sure this was her subtle way of telling me that I shouldn't be dating a Jewish guy. Or, in related - she was just reaffirming her conviction that I should be Christian. Or, lastly, maybe she actually just thinks I'm allergic to Jewish food. No more Gelfite fish for me, I guess.

Back soon...

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