Monday, July 10, 2006

The Mystery of The Tiniest Bladder in the World: Solved. Twice.

I don't have one of these.

I've reported many times that my bladder is the size of a pea; that I pee a cajillion times per every cup of liquid drink, and that there is an intern sitting at the front of my office, by my escape door, who must think I have serious issues (And you will learn below that I most certainly do).

I've also said that I'm opposed to responding to commercials that claim "if you are a woman who goes to the bathroom more than 8 times a day, you might need this pill." Hell, it's 10:30 a.m. and I've already reached their piddly goal. But, no, I will not call. This is why:

I Don't Have a Bladder.

It makes perfects sense. At once I thought my bladder was just really small. Now, I realize I just don't have one. Oh well, less for me to worry about. At least I won't get bladder cancer (there really is such a thing).

I was set on this conclusion until this morning when I saw another commercial - this time, geared toward men who are constantly running for the bathroom. It could be that:

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I have one of these

I Have Prostate Problems.

If I don't have a bladder, then I'd say anything goes. Maybe I'm a girl with a prostate. Stranger things have happened, you know?

Until I get the X-rays verified, I'll just go on pretending I have a bladder. But, in the meantime, I'm going to have to learn how to make that thing my bitch:

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

have you tried anything like detrol la? it worked for me, i used to go like 8-10 times a day...