Saturday, October 07, 2006

I So Win.

Here, my ex-roommate is shown vacationing in the desert.

Remember how much I used to hate my ex-roommate because he was, well, the devil?* Well, it looks like el diablo (Spanish time!) has turned a new leaf. Ever since his girlfriend broke up with him, he's turned to me (me!) for a shoulder to cry on. Being the benevolent person that I am, I've put aside my hatred and given him my professional advice: Stop bitchin', get drunk, and shag, shag, shag. All that. And, if that doesn't win her back, then it's pretty much a lost cause anyway, right? Right.
But enough of my unsolicitied relationship advice, here's a clip from his most recent email to me. Special emphasis on the last paragraph:

"Thank you for your thoughts. I am starting to have some peace of mind. I realize that relationships take time, work and love and both people need to realize that for it to work. Too often people think that the pretty packaging (ease of life, social circle, your address, looks, bank account) can make up for what is actually in the box. I know that it boils down to sitting on the front porch when you are retired and appreciating the person for who they are and who you have become together.

Whether it is with me or someone else, I hope [redacted] realizes that too and she will not just be another girl with a country club membership, new purse every week with a husband that is taking home his secretary.

I also wanted to say I am sorry for all those times I was stand offish, or seemed resentful when we lived together. That was a rough time and I regret that I let that rub off on others."

Yeah, that's some deep shit.

I win.

Thanks for playin'...

*If you look over to the right, there's an entire "I Hate My Roommate" archive. Serious.


marie lyn bernard said...

could he have possibly fit one more cliche into that email? cheating with the proverbial secretary, being retired on the proverbial porch (what do these old people do on their porches i mean really?), coveting the proverbial country club membership.....what about two-point-five-kids-and-a-dog? picket fences?

Gigi said...

You are so right. Hilarious. (Too hilarious, in fact. You're making me look bad).