Monday, October 23, 2006

The Diablo's Diary

I just couldn't bring myself to meet with the Diablo yesterday. It's not because I'm weirded out that all of the sudden we're bestfriends. It's not because I don't want to listen to him play association with every word in the English vocabulary to see how he can relate each to his ex. It's because he wants to write a book and he wants my advice.

Before agreeing to meet him, I gave him the typical disclaimers:

-It's very hard to write a book
-It's not fun
-Seeing as how you work a full time job, you're going to have to dedicate every spare minute to it.
-It's impossible to get published.

The only things he writes on a regular basis are law and/or real estate contracts. Still, I'm often surprised by what gets published and what doesn't. I'm still trying to figure out why/how Life of Pi became popular.

Anyway, in response to my warnings, the diablo said, "Well, I just need to write it for myself."

Oh, so you're writing a diary? This is what I thought, not what I said, unfortunately.

But when it came to meeting with him yesterday, I didn't. Knowing that I'm interested in writing/reading, he's trying to fit in a face to face bitch session about his ex under the guise of writing a book. Now, that is true diablo style. But in true me style, I said I was sick/prepping for Dave's arrival/just woke up at 12:00/have to workout/go shopping/get a Halloween outfit*/clean the house/make superhero capes for my friend's dogs...."Can we postpone?"

"Sure, no problem..."

That was close.

*I'm going to be Elvira. She's a sexy bitch.


Marie said...

Oh hideous. I hate that conversation. Somehow, people who read and write the least seem to be the most unaware of the market climate at the moment. I love it when poeple are like "You know, I've got this great novel I was thinking about, I should do it--" and I'm like "Um, first of all: it's probably not great. And secondly: please don't bother. There are people who want it way more than you who are way better than you--and they aren't getting published." Tell hiim about PublishAmerica, they'll snap him up like hotcakes. Diary. Pshaw.

Chad said...

It is really freakin hard. Takes all the fun out of it sometimes!

Gigi said...

Almost just as bad as hearing someone say "I have a great idea for a novel," is hearing them say that writing is, "like, so relaxing. It relieves my stress."

Oh shut the hell up. If writing relieves your stress, you're doing it wrong.

Mikeachim said...

Elvira. Ooooohhhhh boy.
*cold shower runs in the background for 10 minutes*
Why do you think he wants to write a book - what's your feeling on the matter? Mainly to get published? Or mainly because there's something in him that won't shut up?

Mikeachim said...

Does everyone really find writing stressful?
I find editing traumatic, and even moreso the initial rereading ("Oh GOD, my prose has rotted overnight, I'm a worm" etc.), but the actual writing itself is always.....liberating. Improves my mood no end. When I *don't* write (not writer's block, just disorganisation) is when I get stressed, even if I write 10 sides of manure as catharsis....

Gigi said...

I assume he wants to write a book because he thinks he has a good idea. He's been talking about "writing a book" ever since I met him (only a year ago).

I think he wants to blab about himself, which is the worst reason to ever write a book. No one cares. I'd say it's pretty rare that some average guy has an interesting enough story that people would want to read it despite not knowing him (the obvious exception that comes to mind is Augusten Burroughs). It might be the most fun thing to write about, but to the reader, it is the most excruciatingly boring.

Don't get me wrong, I love writing. Writing just to write (like writing this blog) is great. Writing that must be judged by others for its validity and consumer worth, however, that's fucking painful.