Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Morning After Going Drinking Apology Letter Template

I think that everyone should have one of these in their arsenal. This is an excerpt from a letter I had to send to a friend this morning:

I meant to send you my "Morning After Going Drinking Apology Letter Template," but I already had two emails in to you so I refrained.

Basically, the Morning After Going Drinking Apology Letter Template features the following clauses:

-Sorry if I talked way too much about myself

-Sorry if this excessive talking about myself interfered with you wanting to talk about yourself (excessively)

-If I said anything negative about anyone/anything, it was the alcohol talking, not me. I'm an angel when I'm sober.

Anyway, that should cover all the bases. I totally missed a doctors appt this morning, not due to drinking, due moreover to the fact that I'm mildly retarded.

11 comments:

Stephanie Green said...

Brilliant. I seemed to overuse, "Sorry I hopped in a cab with Mr. X and didn't share one home with you."

DCchick1 said...

Love the blog...

There are a few things about that apology letter that I can attest to, one too many times! :)

Gigi said...

Two lushes after my own heart!

There were definitely a lot more clauses in this thing when I was single.

Ben said...

What, no "sorry I punched that guy/girl/bartender you were talking to," or "sorry after I walked you home I peed in your closet?" This is simply not the all-encompassing drunken apology letter as advertised...

Mikeachim said...

I need a different letter.
**********
Hi, [friend]. I really enjoyed last night at [local watering-hole]- it was great to catch up - but I'm feeling a bit worried over something, and I feel I should clarify.
I don't really drink much. Spirits, mainly. I can't drink beer - it makes me bloated and surly and I end up the next morning with a small band of workmen wandering around my insides, hitting organs at random with large rubber mallets.
And that was why I kept drinking fruit juice. I like fruit juice.
Please note that me drinking fruit juice so much was (a) not because I think you're scum, and don't want to drink with you, or (b) not because I'm incredibly puritacically opposed to alcohol and I look down on all drinkers, including you, or (c) not because I'm some kind of lily-livered feeble spinless wretch with no sense of go or elan, or (d) not due to all three previous points.
Ta.
Mike

******

Anonymous said...

Mike needs some attention, using someones comment section to promote your wit...shame, shame.

P.S. I didn't get the memo...your an angel sober?

Dig.

Gigi said...

It's definitely all-encompassing for me, Ben. The only stupid thing I do when I'm drunk is run my mouth (and sometimes pee on the sidewalk). My boyfriend cringes when I suggest going to grab "a" drink.

Mike - I think that your letter might actually be the one that people send to me. Yeah, I'm that obnoxious.

Anonymous - Angel. Sware.

Mikeachim said...

:)
I like writing rambling comments.
So shoot me.
....
*deafening volley of 360-degree gunfire*

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