Monday, October 09, 2006

One of These Statements Falls Into the "Too Much Information" Category

It's a good thing my friends and loved ones have interesting things to say, because I sure as hell don't. Or, I do? I don't know. I've been that busy at work lately. I remember the good ol' days when I could sit at my desk for 8 of my 9 hours on the clock, and simply pretend that I was doing, well, something. My policy was that even if I wasn't doing anything (I wasn't), I just needed to have something to say when my boss asked me what I was working on (nothing). "A spreadsheet of..." "Implementing a web..." "Partnering with a marketing..." As long as I had my alibi at hand, I was free to do whatever I wanted, which was usually bitching about life on my blog. Unfortunately.

That said, those days are temporarily gone. Here are some things my grandma and Dave said that cracked me up:

Grandma: "I read your blog all the time now. You're very good at blogging."

Why do I think this is funny? First off, I think it's hilarious that my whole family figured out that I had a blog when I tried so very hard to keep it a secret. My sister has a big mouth. Second, my grandma used the word "blog" as both a noun and a verb. Very impressive.

Dave: "Babe, I noticed that there was a straw in the dishwasher. Tell me you didn't wash a straw."

Why funny? Because I'm as cheap as it comes. When it comes to certain things, that is. For instance, I will wash the hell out of a straw so that I don't have to buy a new pack for $2.49, but will I eat at a chain restaurant if the only alternative is not eating at all? Hell no.

Dave: (After I told him that I had two orgasms when he thought I only had one) "Wait, I didn't know you had two. Why did you keep it a secret? Most girls fake having orgasms. You fake not having orgasms!"

That's easy, baby. I didn't want to make you jealous.


Paige Jennifer said...

Screw that. I say make him jealous. Make him very, very, very jealous.

Anonymous said...

Which Grandma (because that can only add to the level of funniness)? I read this shit everyday too, but I better not be the big mouth sista'. Love.


Gigi said...

Grandma Mary. She's reading about my double-O right now. Dre is the big mouth.

Paige - We're def seeing eye to eye on this one.

copyranter said...

SLOW DOWN! this is GOLD. Implementing marketing...wait, no, partnering with marketing.