…where she walks around the house with her pants unzipped and scratches her upper pelvic region with her right hand; her head with her left. Her underwear are white cotton and her fingers must reek of vag and dandruff, respectively. With these hands she does the dishes.
I can not call her by her full proper nickname anymore because I’m afraid that if Paulo C. were to google himself, he might contact her and say something to the effect of:
“Cousin, tell me, do you pee on toilet seats and scratch the upper region of your vag when there are guests over?”
Here she would squirm, wondering how he knew. Then the truth about this blog would come out and she would kick me out, effectively banishing me into a place where the coffee mugs are not cleaned with pelvic-paste-covered hands and Palmolive.