Things You Think About But Never Do

The other day I was waiting in line for a treadmill at the gym. Waiting in line pretty much sucks and is usually a legitimate enough excuse for me to leave based on the ever popular excuse, "my time is too valuable (cough, cough)." In laymen's terms: "I'm lazy and could use a drink. Plus, this could take hours."

Of course, I'm fully aware that it will really only be two minutes max. So, seeing as how my thighs and ass are curdling as of late, I decided to wait it out.

It was 7:00, which means it was primetime and treadmill use is limited to a half hour. This is a great time for me to go because even if I "want" to do 40 minutes, it's illegal. This brings me to my point.

Whenever I'm waiting in line at this time, I always notice these tricky bastards who put their towels over the timer, so you can't call them out on going over their 30-minute limit. I spied two out and gave them an evil glare, just knowing they were probably approaching an hour under those towels. I don't have it in me to go up and pull up their towels, but wouldn't it be funny? I think so. At this point, someone got off the treadmill and I hopped on--ultimately forgetting about these evil, good for nothin' time-rapists.

A few minutes later, I notice some guy going around pulling up people's towels and checking their times. Could it be? It was.

While my immediate reaction was that he was a dickhead, my second and correct reaction was that he had the biggest balls in the place. He smacked them in some guy's face and got his treadmill. There's something to be said about big balls. Oh yeah, and being proactive and all that too.