My Kind of Restaurant

I can't get over how cool my Friday night restaurant is:

-No matter how often we go there, the bartender can't remember our order.
-We have to remind him every time that we need plates for our appetizers.
-In the bathroom, the "Dial" soap container contains dish soap.
-No matter what alcohol you order, it's five dollars.
-The head waitress has a mustache.
-Zagat's calls it "seedy."

Meanwhile, Dave just landed in Hawaii and I couldn't go with him even though he had a free trip for two. I don't want to talk about it. Not right now, at least. I wanted to talk about it earlier but ConEd clipped a wire and our internet at work was off from 2:00 on. As if they really need any more bad press.