Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I'm back and boy have things changed.

My landlord will wish she'd rigged her t.p. holder like this once I'm finished with her.

Hi all. Hopefully you've still got me on your blog readers because for a couple months now I've been really craving my blog.

Oh how I've missed puking my emotions all over the page for all to read. I love having a free forum to do nothing but vent and talk about myself. I just realized that the last time I wrote a real post here was in December of 2007, and I can't believe how fast the year has gone by. Cliché, I know, but a lot has changed. Where to start?

I think I mentioned I was starting a company. Yep, I've escaped the grips of my old boss and gone off on my own (well, with a partner). We started a pretty cool marketing firm and, knock on wood, it's doing pretty damn well. In fact, we're already upgrading our office space...partly because we need more space (there are five of us now), but mostly because our landlord is an insufferable bitch. (I just can't seem to get away from control freak women.) Anyhow, I've already started stealing toilet paper and paper towels from my current space to counteract the deposit I know they're going to steal from us. Tomorrow I'm taking the toilet bowl freshener and a sponge. So, take that.

My partner and I decided our new office needs to be gorgeous, and even more, it needs to have a "look." So we bought a white laquer bar, bar stools, a new couch, and some other really cool furniture. My favorite part, though, is our new wallpaper. Check out how well it compliments our new couch. Stunning, eh?

In other news, Dave and I finally split up. I didn't want to move there. He didn't want to move here. And then I met someone new. I've been with my new beau for almost a year now and life is fantastic. Dave and I still keep in touch and have a great deal of respect for each other, but that's about the extent of it. And yes, he's still in Chicago.

So, I think the defining moments responsible for my return to this lovely blog were a vacation in the south of France and an incident writing my blog at work. I don't know what it was about France--maybe just the fact that I was actually relaxing for the first time in a year--but I really felt the need to start updating again. Then, about a month ago as I was updating our work blog, I felt the compulsion to write about this blog and why it is so much more fun to write here. I know, I know; I'm trying to turn this into some type of romantic story when, really, it's just not that deep.

Anyway, I'll leave you with a clip from that blog post, which I credit with reuniting me with my loyal-as-a-dog blog. I have so much more to report but this is getting long. Stay tuned for updates on my mom's new boyfriend and psycho neighbor, the 10 reasons why I love the new Swiffer commercials, and my new obsession with Keith Olbermann. Until then, here's my shout-out to this blog from my other blog in a post about why I'd rather be here than there. Wow, so confusing. Anyway, more to come. I promise this time...

Despite our better wishes, writing about PR & Marketing isn’t half as interesting as talking about ourselves on our personal blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I could talk about my job all day and often I do. But when it comes to blogging, I’d rather talk about other things. For instance, of late I’ve been reminiscing about the days of yore when I used to talk about myself incessantly on my personal blog. Since I wrote anonymously, I could say anything I wanted to. People who know me know that there’s no filter between my mouth/brain, so this was quite a fantastic forum for me. I was completely candid and, by golly, people read what I wrote because they could relate to my experiences. Also, because I put it all out there, I had a loyal following that clung onto my every word. Boy, did I feel popular and wanted. No wonder I updated daily…instant gratification!

There are restrictions to writing on a corporate blog—even if your company is as cool as ours. If there weren’t, we’d probably write a whole lot more.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve had several instances of “Oh, I should blog about that,” followed by, “Oh, I don’t keep a personal blog anymore.” These were very important topics, too. You know, like the lack of good dirty martinis in Manhattan, my upcoming vacation, how well my mom’s doing at the farmer’s market, the new restaurants I’ve discovered, the odd stench that occasionally plagues the Franklin Street stop, the fact that The Today Show put “drys up” instead of “dries up” on their weather graphic this morning, and why I think that the British show Extras is the best thing since buttered bread.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I Can't Stand Sarah Palin

In case anyone's still reading this and wondering what I'm thinking about Sarah Palin: she's a joke.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Hi all,

I started my own business, which might explain why I've had absolutely no time to write. The new biz is a PR/marketing firm (whose name I can't smudge by mentioning it on this here blog). I know I always say that I'll write more, but it's true this time.

Until then,

P.S. Hi, new friend, Romius T. Nice to have you. I need some new readers. My old ones have left me. Rightfully. I've so not upheld my end of the bargain...

Thursday, December 27, 2007

This is Totally Karma for the Jesus Thing...

If you don't know what the Jesus thing is, see the below post.

I just wrote out this long recap for my friends, so I thought I'd share it here too. Mildly entertaining.

Last night:

Was having the best time - hanging out with this cool chick I met - we left the club we were at and went to have some wine at this cute little wine bar. Later we went to meet back up with everyone else and grab something to eat at a late night Mexican place. I was in line for about a half hour, finally going to order, when two girls started fighting and throwing each other on the floor. (Indianapolis is that kind of city...the people are relatively trashy).

Anyway, I don't know what got into me, but something clicked and I turned into this motherly-type figure who wanted to help the girls out. I pulled one girl away (there were guys/girls/cooks fighting at this point), and told her that she's wasting her time/it's not worth it. She was cool and appreciated it. Then I went to get another girl and tried to walk her out. Suddenly, some girl started punching me. I was so shocked/had no idea what was going on, so I just stood there, genuinely confused, asking her if she just punched me. I couldn't really feel it, but she was yelling at me for calling her something (???) and it was altogether confusing. I didn't fight back because like i said, i was so in shock, and I wouldn't fight anyway. Not worth it to me. Plus, I've never been punched, so it was just weird. (BTW, now I know what guys are referring to when they say "girl punches.")

The worst part is this, though: My blackberry must have flew out of my hand, because it was stolen by some guy in the restaurant. He called us on my friend's phone to brag that he had it. I had it turned off within 20 minutes, and the call to my friend was the only one he made, but now I have to go get a new bb. Really sucks because I just got that one in October.

Oddly enough, I felt like something bad was going to happen prior to going out, and thought that I probably shouldn't go. I should have trusted my instincts.

All in all, really bizarre. I can't believe people sometimes. And I can't believe I was in a position to get punched. My dad called me 'Mike Tyson' when I stumbled out of bed this morning. (The disconnect being that Mikey T. actually throws punches, unlike your's truly.)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

What Not To Say Too Loud While in a Bar in the Midwest Two Days Prior to Christmas

"I hate Jesus."

Doesn't go over so well... Even my friend, the ex-crack/meth addict, was offended. Guess he's kind of a big deal here.

When not ostracizing myself, I've been chiiilllliinnnn'. Made the below wall hanging with my sis. Still have to throw some resin on it, which is what makes it super duper fine.

It's blurry, but you get the idea.

Actually, I'm lying; I've been doing quite a bit of work, but nothing I can mention. I'm not doing anything that will be super entertaining when I can tell ya about it, but I still can't say anything about it...which makes it seem a lot more interesting than it really is. Following me? It's the V.I.P. room effect. Seems cool because it's mysterious.

m going to Miami with Dave on Friday and we're taking motorcycle riding classes. That's right, on Monday, I will be a licensed motorcyclist. Scary. Admittedly, I probably won't ride a lot/ever. I'll just pull my license out here and there to impress the fellas. (Although I tend to believe that men don't think girls who ride motorcycles are especially sexy).

For New Years Eve, we're heading to the Raleigh Hotel in Miami. My friend promotes there. Otherwise, we'd probably go out the night before and just do dinner/drinks on NYE. We're supposed to go out with my friend and her husband, but my friend just gave birth and is trying to figure out how to milk herself so that the baby doesn't get drunk (from drinking alcohol-infested breast milk). She says she doesn't think she can store enough milk to last until the next day, so she wants us to meet somewhere between Miami and West Palm. Ummm, no. I'm just not that good of a friend/person.

This post is boring. My cousin is hot. Feast your eyes:

He's not blood related, but you know... Kinda weird.

Friday, December 21, 2007

It's not that I don't want to write...'s just that I can't. All the cool stuff going on is top-secret.

Saturday, December 15, 2007


Back in the day when I had tons of free time and worked only part time bar jobs, I used to make mosaic and mixed media wall hangings/furniture. My sister started doing the same shortly after me and now she's pretty much doing it professionally (and way better than I ever did). Seeing as how she's one of those people who is just learning how to use email (Bonus: she uses it to send her boss naked pictures!) and the Internet (Bonus: She's a stalker who was more than pleasantly surprised with the power that is Google Maps!) -- she obviously didn't think to put up a website. I mean, why would she? It's not like anyone shops on the internet, right? Freak.

The Skeeze and I (err, mostly the Skeeze with my "artistic direction") have built a website for my sister's art. Truth be told; half the shit on there is mine (because I'm not one to not take credit any chance I can get), but my sister's trying to start up a business, so we'll call it hers. She's perfectly capable of recreating everything up there anyway. All of that said, check it out. There are some major grammatical errors and what not, but all of the copy is bullshit anyway. Buy something from her. Her email addy's in the contact. Order something today and she can probably get it to you in time for Christmas. Seriously. It's not like you've got something better planned. Tell her I sent ya...